Logan and his secrets
by jadenrilei
Summary: Started, didnt finish. These are things Logan has to deal with by himself.


I had started this for a 5things challenge but didnt think it was nearly good enough to submit so I never finished the last two. Its sorta Alternate U, in some ways other ways it could have happened just like this it all depends on how you see each person on the show.

**Just to tell her Thanks**

She was a good mom. The sleeping pills and cocktails to drown out the pain had never come between her loving him. As far back as he could remember she had always kissed him goodnight. Even as a teenager when she had thought he had fallen asleep. She would creep into his room and set on the edge of his bed. Leaning in she would kiss him on the forehead, rub his cheek and tell him "I Love you" Though their special moments had become sparse the older he got. It would be impossible for him to forget about the first time a girl had made him cry. He had seen his first girlfriend Marah holding hands with Duncan on the last day of camp and it had crushed him. His mom ended up being the one who picked him up that day. Laying his head in her lap, she held him and let him cry. She never thought of him as being weak for crying over a girl.

He couldn't count how many times his mom had waited until the Devil A.K.A. daddy, had fallen asleep, so she could come and clean the bleeding raw wounds that ripped through his back. She would cry, silently to herself morning what had happened to him.

Can any words possibly sound sweeter or offer greater comfort? Would it have made anything different? If he would have taken just a few seconds out of his morning to say "hey mom, I love you?"

Could two tiny words have made a difference? It might not have stopped her from jumping, but she would have at least known. His mom had died not knowing how much he truly did love her. He never once told her Thank You.

It was too late to tell her in life, but he wasn't going to waste another day without saying it. He knelt next to a grave that held no body. He ran his fingers across the smooth, cold stone, tracing each sharp groove that spelled out her name.

Clearing his throat he began speaking aloud, knowing deep down she was listening.

"Sometimes our lives get too busy to remember the special people in it But I need you to know Whenever I needed a. shoulder to cry on, or someone to stand by me you were there I might not have said it lately but thank You Mommy." "I Love you"

It was at that moment he remembered a line that he never truly understood until now.

"They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone."

Cherish each and every person you love in your life because you will never know when you will see them again.

**You had me at Hello**

"I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where"

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds"

He had a secret. This secret wasn't new, he had kept it buried these last five years.

He was in love. He had been in love since the first time he had seen her. Back then she was a skinny little runt that was all knee's and elbows.

It was the summer he moved to Neptune. Logan rode his bike over to Duncan Kanes house, he was the only person there he knew. His mom answered the door and explained to him that Duncan was at soccer practice, she encouraged him to go check it out. He thought what the hell he didn't have anything else to do. They had been there barely two days and his parents had already Jetted away to a new movie set leaving him there with Trina and a Nanny.

Weaving his way down the bike path he finally made it to the Soccer field. Hopping off and laying the bike on its side, he steadily made his way to the sideline. While scanning the field for Duncan, two laughing blonde girls caught his attention. Staring for a few seconds he realized one of the girls was Lilly, Duncan's older sister. Logan walked around to where they were sitting and hoped that Lilly would remember him.

"Hi" he heard himself saying to the girls

Lilly looked up. "Hi" blinked and tilted her head as if thinking "oh Hey Logan, when did you make it into town?" "Donut told me you were moving here"

Stammering out of astonishment that she remembered who he was he goes on to say. "We got here two days ago." "Do you know where Duncan is,Your mom said he would be here"

"They just went into the locker rooms to change" smiled Lilly "Oh Hey this is my best friend, Her name is Veronica" "Veronica, this is Logan he and my brother have been going to the same camp for the last 4 years, and he just moved here"

She was tiny almost Pixie like, dressed in a green uniform and when she looked up at him her blue eyes sparkled.

"Hey" she smiled.

"hhhi" he managed to get out" He could feel his face start to flush so he told Lilly to let Duncan know he was looking for him. While backing away it took most of his courage not to take off running. While he walked away he over- heard Lilly say "you will never guess who his dad is? Aaron Echolls!" they both broke out in high pitched giggles. Almost to his bike he glanced back to see Veronica quickly looking away her face turning red behind her pig tails.

He had fallen in love that day, and not one day has gone by when he hasn't closed his eyes and not seen her perfect face. Duncan had once again stolen the girl he loved but Logan knew it wouldn't last forever. Even though Logan wasn't a patent person, he was willing to wait for as long as it took.

A ringing phone brings him out of his reverie. Standing up from his chair he heads towards the guest house singing quietly to himself

" _Is it all in that pretty little head of yours?  
What goes on in that place in the dark?  
Well I used to know a girl and I would have  
sworn that her name was Veronica  
Well she used to have a carefree mind of her  
own and a delicate look in her eye  
These days I'm afraid she's not even sure if her  
name is Veronica"  
_

**Behind the mask of the Devil**

"Three can keep a secret if two are dead"

"What if you could go back in time, and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?"

He could have said something. For the last two years he could have fought back. He was taller, stronger and better shape. But he never uttered a word to anyone. Logan had learned a long time ago that nobody was going to believe him so why say anything at all. He tried to tell Trina the horrors of what it felt like to smell and hear the low hiss of his flesh burn while the cigar was being held to his skin. The stinging when the blood would flow freely from the cris cross wounds that marked his back at least once a week. No Logan was his, Biologically his so that made him less of a son more like property. How do you fight a man who is a devil behind closed doors but a saint for the camera's and fan who flocked their home on a daily basis. Logan knew pure evil, he had lived with him for almost 18 years. Aaron had killed his mother, his girlfriend and used him as his own punching bag and the world will never know.

There were only three people who ever knew what he was going through. One was dead, she couldn't do anything in life and nothing changed when she jumped off that bridge. The second had skipped town so he could freely raise his daughter by himself. Duncan had been his best friend for so many years and as close as they were it would have been impossible to keep that hidden from him. The last and final player in this sick game he called life was Veronica. She had found out by accident, he never meant for her to find out at all. The devil had tried to kill her, locking her in a freezer so she could burn alive. It was possible for Logan to push what his father had done to him out of his mind, But he would Never forget or forgive him for trying to kill her.

Laying back and closing his eyes he was able to imagine it so clearly. His hand wraps around the cold steel that made up the non registered .45. Big Dick said it might save his life one day. Slowly raising it to heart level pulling back on the trigger. Recoil pushing like a Semi against his arms as the shot rings out and made its way for its target.

Could it be that simple? To make the devil pay for killing or attempting to kill every women in his life he ever loved

Laying back in the lounge chair drifting aimlessly around the pool he would imagine a different way to kill his father every day. Sometimes he would shoot him, Other times just beat him until his fist and legs were so bloody, sore and heavy it was impossible to lift them anymore. But he never acted because making his father pay wasn't worth losing the only person alive who still mattered to him. Going to prison wouldn't help his relationship with Veronica, it would only drive her farther away. He was willing to endure any amount of pain if that meant he was able to walk down Neptune's hallways and get just a peek of her each and every day.

**Touch stone**

"You made me love you, even though I was very sure I didn't need to love anyone, and also pretty sure I wouldn't be able to."

There's always been so many things he wished he could say, or even express. God knows he wasn't very good with words. Every time he would try to say something nice or just to ask her how she was doing some Jackass hurtful words come spilling out of his mouth. Instead of saying "Move that cereal box toy you call a car" he wished he was able to just say "When that special sparkling smile comes on, I want it to be for me and no one else" But its always the same he finds himself saying hurtful things to her never things she needs to hear.

Sometimes he just sits in his own little world daydreaming of a time when it could be him she ran up and held onto so very tightly.


End file.
